Everyone has been hurt sometime or another. By people we love, by people we dislike, by complete strangers and good friends. Being treated poorly can often leave a lack of trust, broken hearts and painful emotions. While it is easy to get caught up in the pain, it is doing more damage than good by not letting go. Reliving pain over and over again is not healthy and only makes you feel worse. Feeling worse causes some problems in our lives which are feeling unhappy, feeling distrustful, it can put a strain on a relationship and it causes people to shut down instead of opening up to new people.
Being happy is pretty much everyone I know life's goal. So why keep the cycle of hurt going when you can break free and be happy again? This is something that I learned the hard way, and have found myself struggling with the hurt and anger that I felt from an incident that occurred in my teenage years. Not letting go put a strain on not only my relationships but my happiness. I finally let go a few years ago and saw a great improvement with my relationships and became happy and whole again.
Letting negativity that occurs in your life permeate your soul only feeds the misery. You can be proactive in eliminating this negative feelings of pain by forgiving . Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting what has happened in the past, or expecting someones behavior to change. It is something that you can do for yourself to help you find closure. Letting go of the pain and anger and moving to a peaceful place is the ultimate goal when we forgive. Forgiving people is not going to happen over night but you can do things for yourself and your mind to change your thought process and learn to let go. After doing some research online I found a great article on some things that can help you move on.
1. Commit to letting go. You are not going to change in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time to get over something, so commit to changing because you recognize the pain is hurting you.
2. Weigh the PROS and CONS. Ask yourself what problem does this pain cause you? Does it affect your relationship with this person? With others? Does it affect your career or family? Does it stop you from pursuing your dreams or becoming a better person? Does it cause you unhappiness? Answer all of these questions and realize it's time to take action to change. Think of the benefits of forgiveness, how it will make you happier, more peaceful, improve relationships and your life in general?
3. Realize you have a choice. You cannot control other people's actions and you shouldn't try to. However you can control your own actions and your thoughts. You can stop reliving the hurt and you can make a choice to move forward. You and only you have the power to move on. It takes time to learn how to exercise this power but the more your practice the easier it becomes.
4. Empathize. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to understand where they were coming from when they hurt you. You need to start with the assumption that person isn't a bad person, but just made a mistake. Ask yourself what they could have been thinking, or how past incidents in their lives have affected their behavior. You are not saying that their behavior is right you are just trying to understand where they are coming from and their point of view.
5. Understand your responsibility. Ask yourself if you could have been partially responsible for what happened. What could you have done to prevent it and how can you prevent it from happening in the future? We must realize that we are not victims, but we are PARTICIPANTS in life.
6. Focus on the Present. Since you have reflected on the past, realize the past is over. There is no going back or redoing the past. The incident isn't happening anymore except in your mind. Reliving the past causes stress and more emotional suffering. Try to focus on the present moment when you feel yourself going towards the past. Actively change your thought process and try to be in the now. Look for the joy in life not the pain.
7. Allow peace to enter into your life. When you are focusing on the present focus on your breathing. Imagine each breath going out is the pain from the past being released from your body and mind. Focus on each breath going in as peace filling up your body and mind. Release the pain from the past with each breath out and let the peace enter with each breath in. Go forward thinking no longer of the past but the present peace.
8. Feel compassion. Forgive the people and realize that by forgiving you are allowing yourself to be happy and move forward. Wish the person happiness and empathize towards their mistake. Let love from them and those around you grow in your heart.
Like I previously mentioned these changes do not happen over night but if you are being a willing participant in life you must acknowledge it's in your power to move on and be happy again..
I found these 8 tips from http://zenhabits.net/hot-to-let-go-and-forgive/
Being happy is pretty much everyone I know life's goal. So why keep the cycle of hurt going when you can break free and be happy again? This is something that I learned the hard way, and have found myself struggling with the hurt and anger that I felt from an incident that occurred in my teenage years. Not letting go put a strain on not only my relationships but my happiness. I finally let go a few years ago and saw a great improvement with my relationships and became happy and whole again.
Letting negativity that occurs in your life permeate your soul only feeds the misery. You can be proactive in eliminating this negative feelings of pain by forgiving . Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting what has happened in the past, or expecting someones behavior to change. It is something that you can do for yourself to help you find closure. Letting go of the pain and anger and moving to a peaceful place is the ultimate goal when we forgive. Forgiving people is not going to happen over night but you can do things for yourself and your mind to change your thought process and learn to let go. After doing some research online I found a great article on some things that can help you move on.
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| Photo Courtesy of http://elev8.com/files/2010/12/forgive.jpg |
1. Commit to letting go. You are not going to change in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time to get over something, so commit to changing because you recognize the pain is hurting you.
2. Weigh the PROS and CONS. Ask yourself what problem does this pain cause you? Does it affect your relationship with this person? With others? Does it affect your career or family? Does it stop you from pursuing your dreams or becoming a better person? Does it cause you unhappiness? Answer all of these questions and realize it's time to take action to change. Think of the benefits of forgiveness, how it will make you happier, more peaceful, improve relationships and your life in general?
3. Realize you have a choice. You cannot control other people's actions and you shouldn't try to. However you can control your own actions and your thoughts. You can stop reliving the hurt and you can make a choice to move forward. You and only you have the power to move on. It takes time to learn how to exercise this power but the more your practice the easier it becomes.
4. Empathize. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to understand where they were coming from when they hurt you. You need to start with the assumption that person isn't a bad person, but just made a mistake. Ask yourself what they could have been thinking, or how past incidents in their lives have affected their behavior. You are not saying that their behavior is right you are just trying to understand where they are coming from and their point of view.
5. Understand your responsibility. Ask yourself if you could have been partially responsible for what happened. What could you have done to prevent it and how can you prevent it from happening in the future? We must realize that we are not victims, but we are PARTICIPANTS in life.
6. Focus on the Present. Since you have reflected on the past, realize the past is over. There is no going back or redoing the past. The incident isn't happening anymore except in your mind. Reliving the past causes stress and more emotional suffering. Try to focus on the present moment when you feel yourself going towards the past. Actively change your thought process and try to be in the now. Look for the joy in life not the pain.
7. Allow peace to enter into your life. When you are focusing on the present focus on your breathing. Imagine each breath going out is the pain from the past being released from your body and mind. Focus on each breath going in as peace filling up your body and mind. Release the pain from the past with each breath out and let the peace enter with each breath in. Go forward thinking no longer of the past but the present peace.
8. Feel compassion. Forgive the people and realize that by forgiving you are allowing yourself to be happy and move forward. Wish the person happiness and empathize towards their mistake. Let love from them and those around you grow in your heart.
Like I previously mentioned these changes do not happen over night but if you are being a willing participant in life you must acknowledge it's in your power to move on and be happy again..
I found these 8 tips from http://zenhabits.net/hot-to-let-go-and-forgive/
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